Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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