you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
