In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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