the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
