I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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