Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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