Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
