And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
