My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
