I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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