We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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