Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
