They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
