im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
