i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
