last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
