the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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