i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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