There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
ttyl tear gas
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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