I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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