i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
