My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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