we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
