It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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