its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
