oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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