Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
