Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
