you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
