I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
