I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
