Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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