Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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