i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Found your dick twin last night
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
