yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
