whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
