He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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