were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize