It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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