so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
