if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Gay?
German.
Pity.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize