i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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