i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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