hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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