margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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