we have officially lost it.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
