My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
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