He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
