make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
