she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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