whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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