Do you still have your period?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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