capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
