He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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