I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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