I can text with my tongue
only you would photoshop your dick
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
